Canada's Arar says life wrecked by Syrian ordeal

OTTAWA, Jan 27 (Reuters) Canadian Maher Arar, whose false labeling as an Islamic extremist by Canadian police led to him being tortured in Syrian jails, said his old life had been destroyed and brushed off the idea that Ottawa's 10.5 million Canadian (8.9 million dollar) compensation package could ever make up for what he has suffered.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper formally apologized to Arar yesterday for Canada's role in the affair and announced that Arar had accepted the compensation settlement.

During a stopover in New York in 2002, Syrian-born Arar was arrested by U S officials acting on the false Canadian information and deported to Syria.

A Canadian judicial investigation last year found that Arar had been tortured while in Damascus prisons for almost a year in 2002 and 2003.

''I have come to believe more and more that I will never, never be able to rebuild the same life I had before ... If there's a way I could buy my life back -- that's my biggest wish,'' Arar said.

''There is no amount of money that will compensate me for what myself and my family have gone through,'' he told a news conference a few hours after Harper's announcement.

Arar -- one second cheerful, the next almost in tears -- said that before his arrest he had enjoyed his job as a software engineer and found it easy to get work.

''When I look back on how I was as an engineer -- you know, I was like a bird flying from (one) place to the other. I used to be respected in my field by my peers, I used to have self-esteem. So is there really a price on this? I don't think so,'' he said.

Arar, who now lives in the town of Kamloops in the Pacific province of British Columbia, said he would take time off with his wife and two young children to decide what to do next.

When asked whether he might play a public role, he said he would continue to speak about the many reforms to police and government procedure recommend by the official probe.

''I sometimes sit down and type my name on Google and see how many hits I have. So the minute I feel it's going below a certain threshold I'll come back again, I promise you,'' he said with a big smile. ''I'm serious about that, by the way.'' When he returned to the topic of Google a few minutes later, the light-hearted mood had vanished.

''I try to see how I'm still being portrayed on the Internet and in the media. And I'll be open with you -- I get very upset when I read the words 'terror suspect', 'former terror suspect' because it always reminds the reader of this link that never existed. I'm very excited when I see people referring to me as a Canadian computer engineer,'' he said.

Arar is still banned from entering the United States, which considers him a potential security threat. He accused American officials of mounting a smear campaign against him and said he had to be careful when traveling.

''I still avoid U S airspace. About two months ago I flew from Calgary to Toronto and thank God I did not know that we were actually most of the time in U.S. airspace,'' he said.

Arar says his Syrian jailers frequently whipped him with iron cables.

''The psychological effects are still there. Sometimes I have nightmares ... They are less frequent, they are still there,'' he said.

REUTERS PDS RN0502