I wanted to live but they raped and killed me

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I was found naked in a pool of blood under the flyover of national capital. I had sustained severe injuries. My body and that of my friend were at the mercy of onlookers for few hours, before police took note and admitted us to a hospital. Doctors at Safdarjung Hospital put me under ventilator in ICU and did their best to keep me alive.

I too battled hard. After all, I wanted to live. I was just 23. Looking forward to turn into a para-medical professional and make my parents proud.

That could not happen. I am dead now. I was raped and brutally beaten by a gang of half dozen men in a moving bus. Later, as if nothing happened they threw me and my friend out of the bus to die on the streets of Delhi.

I gave my best to survive the crisis. Politicians and media houses are calling me "braveheart" and "nirbhaya". Frankly speaking, I never aspired to be an icon. I wanted to be a simple, smart and educated girl, who can stand on her own. I guess, no woman/girl would like to endure so much of pain and humiliation to become an icon.

Protest Rally Against Delhi Gang rape

I just wanted to live. Few days before I died, I conveyed my desire to live to my mother from my hospital bed. I scribbled a note to her, "Mujhe bacha lo...main jeena chahti hoon (Save me...I want to live)."

I don't blame my parents, neither doctors that I could not be saved. They did their best to save me. My injuries were too malignant. Even best and latest of medical facilities in Singapore Hospital could not save me.

My only solace before I died was angry voices hitting the streets of Delhi demanding safety for women. The sea of protesters joined my battle. But, I was surprised to see no political personality coming out in the open to address the agitators and give them some amount of assurance that our house would be set in order.

Probably, our politicians did not anticipate so much of uproar and rage over a rape. Because everyday hundreds of rapes happen in India. Maybe, the brutality involved in my case was too much for common man to bear.

Aam Aadmi took on to the streets and screamed their way to Raisina Hills, where who's who of Indian VVIPs live. Still our Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, President Pranab Mukherjee, and aspiring PMs and Presidents did not come to meet my protesting brothers and sisters.

I know, our VVIPs and VIPs are too busy running the country. Where do they get the time to address issues of common people?

Politicians have no time to meet people on the streets. Because as our home minister SushilKumar Shinde said protesters might be "Maoists" too. Moreover, politicians felt that protesting women are "dented and painted" elite for whom participating in protest rally is "fashionable". Rather our rulers sent police to lathicharge the protesters. But police bully failed to gag rising protests.

Now, that I have died Prime Minister, President and other big politicians are busy sending condolence messages. Condolence messages won't wipe away the pain and trauma of my family members. It is not for the first time a woman has been humiliated, raped and killed in India. Women in India die everyday. They are killed even before they are born in mothers' wombs.

And, those who are lucky enough to make to this world, everyday is a struggle. Ask my fellow women, they will tell you the horror stories. Which story do I narrate to you? My story is known to all. Many such horrific incidents are wrapped quietly, unknown to people. I have died. All I want is my fellow women should live with dignity and freedom.

Making an icon out of me won't solve the problem. Crying for me won't solve the problem. Politicising rape won't solve the issue. Rules need to be harsher. Culprits need to be punished. Women should be respected. Acknowledge our presence, let us grow and flourish.

Countrymen go back and do something to make India safer for women. Hope that could be your new year resolution.

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