Why Is The Woman Always At Fault In Celebrity Breakups?

As we are just about recovering from the biggest and grandest wedding of the year, in this case, the century, there was also a popular couple on their way to uncoupling.

As a euphoric Hardik Pandya danced with gleeful abandon at the Ambani wedding, fresh after India's spectacular win at the T20 World Cup, he was also bidding time until announcing his own news.

Two days after the week-long Ambani wedding which had dominated global headlines, social media and all the possible trends, Hardik and his wife Natasa declared their divorce.

On 18 July, the couple issued a joint statement proclaiming that their four-year marriage was over. They highlighted that they had tried to make it work, but were unable to succeed. However, their four-year-old son Agastya, remains their priority, whom the two would co-parent. Natasa was on her way back home to Serbia along with her son. While Hardik was gearing up for India's tour of Sri Lanka.

No sooner had the couple made the announcement, than the internet had already taken sides, in this case, side. As love, support and sympathy poured in for the cricketer, there was hate, disrespect and slander for his wife.

"Nothing new, the woman is always the culprit, and the cause when a relationship falls apart. It is steeped in our patriarchal and misogynistic mindset. In this case, for the trolls, he is a man winning laurels for the country, and her identity on the other, is just that of his wife, and she failed at it. From loss or poor form in matches, it is always the woman who gets the flak and is always called out", says a publicist.

The perfectly curated Instagram images and perfect captions apart, a celebrity marriage is as ordinary if not more stressful than that of the so-called commoners. With the camera capturing every movement, glance, frown and body language giving their two bits on whether they are on and off, and rumour mills on the constant churn, the survival of a relationship in the spotlight is far more of a herculean task than any.

"From making announcements of being together, getting married and in some cases parting ways, all this properly strategised by their army of publicists. Celebrities do not have the liberty like ordinary people to live their lives how and as they want. Everything they do or not is judged. In some cases where the split and divorce is high profile as in international cases Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp, and Kim Kardashian vs Kayne West, it is a PR tug of war between who is famous and who is wrong. In other cases the couple along with their advisors decide on a joint post, saying it was a mutual decision, which they plan to settle amicably", says a celebrity journalist who has routinely been filing the same.

There is no denying that the personal lives of celebrities are greedily consumed by the public at large. People sit on a moral high ground giving their two bits and even going to the extent of having their fly-on-the-wall information into the celebrity's life. Even as one wonders what's the truth and what's not, every split comes with a plot of a protagonist, antagonist and multiple uninformed sources. But, if there is one thing that remains constant in the entire narrative, the villain of the piece is the same, the woman.

"Blame it on the wife" is how the saga unfolds, from sighting commitment issues or from being overtly demanding and in some cases even taking a stand against an unequal relationship, it is always the woman. If Malaika Arora found herself brutally trolled for her relationship with the much younger Arjun Kapoor post her divorce from Arbaaz Khan, Suzanne Roshan found herself dragged into controversies post her split with husband Hrithik. Recently Sophie Turner was accused of preferring to party than raise kids in her spit from Joe Jonas, and Amber Heard was tainted for accusing Johnny Depp of abuse. In the recent case of South Korean star Han So Hee becoming a scapegoat for dating pop star Hyeri's former boyfriend Ryu Jun Yeol, it seemed fans and the press had their preferred side between the two women.

"Anywhere in the world the blame game usually starts and ends with a woman. The man hardly features in it and is made out to be this naive puppet who is being strung along by the woman or women. The man never featured in the narrative. The public at large behaves with a predictable misogyny, which also reflects biases and attitudes. The woman usually bears the brunt of slut shaming, vilification and judgment while the man walks away unscathed. In most cases the ones trolling the women are women themselves, it's just very sad", says a celebrity journalist.

The star whose life once remained elusive is now in the palm of your hand, As they post their day-to-day routines making them accessible to fans. A para-social relationship is formed, as fans invest their time and emotions on a star, they feel they are involved in their life. Their lives and relationships seem perfect, though many don't realise it could be as imperfect as any ordinary person's life.

Jeanie Y Chang, an internationally renowned mental health speaker and coach says to the general public at large that celebrity represents a world far away from their own." generally it is all very innocent when the public idolises a star because they can enjoy something outside their own life. They get heartbroken over a celebrity couple's break up, because not only did they like them, but saw them as being perfect. A celebrity marriage is often seen as a Cinderella and Prince Charming, you have put them on a pedestal, followed them, been involved in their relationship, a happily ever after kind of fairytale for the fan. It gets devastating when these celebrities are well-liked and decide to go their separate ways. Seen from the spectrum of mental health they see hopefulness in their union, the dreamy images reflect perfect happiness in the public domain. So when the couple breaks up they see their dreams crashing."

Though many also feel that when a celebrity speaks about their heartbreaks, they also empower fans, giving them the courage to move forward. The very women who are vilified and shamed, have shown the courage of standing up and persevering against all odds." there are always two sides, no one knows the truth, it remains between them. But we love disempowering the woman, it has always been the case because of societal conditioning. At the end of the day no one has the right to comment on another's affairs, yes show your support but by not pulling the other person down. The way you don't like people judging your life don't judge theirs, says a publicist.