When Emilia Clarke Thought She Would Die on GOT Sets: “I Had Cheated Death”

Actress Emilia Clarke, known for her role as Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones, talked about her experience of recovering from two brain haemorrhages during the shoot of the drama-fantasy show, saying it felt like she had cheated death.

During her second brain haemorrhage, she was convinced that she was "meant to die" during an appearance on the podcast How to Fail with Elizabeth Day. The Me Before You actress stated, "I was just convinced that I had cheated death and I was meant to die. Every day, that's all I could think about."

First haemorrhage during the wrapping of the show's season 1

Clarke recalled suffering her first brain haemorrhage right after the wrap of the first season of Game of Thrones. She said she had been stressed due to changes in her lifestyle and career when she collapsed during a workout at a London gym.

She described the pain as "an elastic band snapping around your head."

"This insane pressure," she said.

She recalled crawling towards the bathroom and vomiting. It was then that she realised something was wrong. "I knew I was being brain-damaged." She found herself repeatedly reminding herself that she was "an actor" while waiting for help, adding that she had finally got her dream job and wanted to hold onto it.

Doctors struggled while examining her. They initially thought drugs were involved because she was young. Later, she was shifted to a specialist hospital, where a nurse recommended a brain scan.

How it affected her career?

The first few weeks went into convincing the show executives and creators that she would recover in time to continue working.

"I was so ashamed that this thing had happened and that the people who had employed me might see me as weak or see me as something that could be broken," Clarke said.

Lost hope after second haemorrhage

Later, Clarke suffered a second aneurysm while she was living in New York and performing in a Broadway play. Doctors were monitoring her through regular scans after spotting a second haemorrhage while she was receiving treatment for the first.

The doctors had reportedly performed the wrong surgery, and she had to undergo emergency brain surgery.

"My parents were waiting for me and the doctors would come down every half an hour and say 'we think she's going to die'," Clarke recalled.

The 39-year-old actress stated that she emotionally suffered in ways she had not after the first haemorrhage.

"The biggest thing that happened to me after the second damage was, I shut down emotionally," she said.

Afterward, she was consumed by fear every time she experienced even the slightest headache, worrying that another brain haemorrhage was happening.

While promoting Game of Thrones at San Diego Comic-Con after one of her surgeries, she remembered thinking, "If I'm going to die, I'll do it on live TV."

What helped Emilia Clarke keep going?

The thing that helped her survive emotionally was continuing to work.

"Without my work, I don't know what I would have done," she said.

She also stated that she did not allow herself much grace, as she viewed the experience and her struggle as a personal failure.