Hyderabad Varsity student's suicide note scathingly laments societal sickness

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Hyderabad, Jan 18: The Hyderabad Central University is facing the heat after a Dalit research scholar, Rohith Vemula committed suicide by hanging from the fan in a hostel room.

Rohith was suspended last year after he allegedly took part in a verbal clash in the varsity. He was one among five who were suspended by the university.

Rohith Vemula

The death note of Rohith that surfaced now has soaked hearts of many in emotion, even as the letter leaves the reader's eyes dilating. The letter wrote in extreme distress scathingly talks about societal sickness and life.

In fact the letter reminds the death note of a popular American musician Kurt Donald Cobain who sang the song 'The Man Who Sold the World'. The final phrase before the valediction of the note drafted by Curt says- "It is better to burn out than fade away."

Rohith says "birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from the past."

Read the full transcript of the death note:

Good morning,

I would not be around when you read this letter. Don't get angry on me. I know some of you truly cared for me, loved me and treated me very well. I have no complaints on anyone.

It was always with myself I had problems. I feel a growing gap between my soul and my body. And I have become a monster. I always wanted to be a writer.

A writer of science, like Carl Sagan. At last, this is the only letter I am getting to write.

I loved Science, Stars, Nature, but then I loved people without knowing that people have long since divorced from nature.

[Dalit PhD student commits suicide after getting expelled from Hyderabad University]

Our feelings are second handed. Our love is constructed. Our beliefs colored. Our originality valid through artificial art. It has become truly difficult to love without getting hurt.

The value of a man was reduced to his immediate identity and nearest possibility. To a vote. To a number. To a thing. Never was a man treated as a mind. As a glorious thing made up of star dust. In very field, in studies, in streets, in politics, and in dying and living.

I am writing this kind of letter for the first time. My first time of a final letter. Forgive me if I fail to make sense.

Maybe I was wrong, all the while, in understanding world. In understanding love, pain, life, death. There was no urgency.

But I always was rushing. Desperate to start a life. All the while, some people, for them, life itself is curse. My birth is my fatal accident.

I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past. I am not hurt at this moment. I am not sad. I am just empty. Unconcerned about myself. That's pathetic. And that's why I am doing this.

People may dub me as a coward. And selfish, or stupid once I am gone. I am not bothered about what I am called. I don't believe in after-death stories, ghosts, or spirits.

If there is anything at all I believe, I believe that I can travel to the stars. And know about the other worlds.

If you, who is reading this letter can do anything for me, I have to get 7 months of my fellowship, one lakh and seventy five thousand rupees.

[Hyderabad University students rise in protest against Dalit scholar's suicide]

Please see to it that my family is paid that. I have to give some 40 thousand to Ramji. He never asked them back. But please pay that to him from that.

Let my funeral be silent and smooth. Behave like I just appeared and gone. Do not shed tears for me. Know that I am happy dead than being alive.

"From shadows to the stars."

Uma anna, sorry for using your room for this thing.

To ASA family, sorry for disappointing all of you. You loved me very much. I wish all the very best for the future.

For one last time,

Jai Bheem

I forgot to write the formalities. No one is responsible for my this act of killing myself. No one has instigated me, whether by their acts or by their words to this act.

This is my decision and I am the only one responsible for this. Do not trouble my friends and enemies on this after I am gone.

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