Bangalore, Aug 5: The great Indian circus has resumed. While the suspension of an IAS officer in a state has created a tussle between the government of that state and the Centre with prospects of an important bill getting jeopardised, the nation's number one sporting icon Sachin Tendulkar made his appearance as the member of the Rajya Sabha. Meanwhile, a report said that Congress president and vice-president Rahul Gandhi were among those MPs who had a low attendance rate in the Parliament.
Let's have an imagined communication between various characters that we have on our political stage at the moment. Let's start at Lok Sabha where Speaker Meira Kumar is all set to witness a hectic fortnight starting on August 5, the say when the monsoon session of the Parliament started.
Meira Kumar: Welcome all on this grand resumption of the Lok Sabha!
Sushma Swaraj: We are opposing the government!
Meira: Arre, arre, baith jaiye Sushma ji, we haven't yet started the proceedings and you are already opposing. Allow the House at least to begin functioning.
Sushma: No way, we won't allow any breather to this government.
(She is joined by other BJP MPs: "Yes, yes, we won't allow!")
Sonia Gandhi: See, we have already said that all our good work over the past nine years has been ruined by the arrogant Opposition. They don't allow us to do anything for the people.
Sushma: Come again, Soniaji? You said we don't allow you to function? Or is that you don't want to function?
Kamal Nath: Let's mean business Sushmaji. Don't you want the poor people of this country to get their food secured? We must work on the food security bill instead of arguing meaninglessly.
Sushma: Food security or vote security bill Kamal Nathji? The food security you are talking about has nothing to do with the poor.
Sushilkumar Shinde: What do you mean? When Amartya Sen says something, it must be right. He has spoken in favour of the bill.
Sushma: We don't care who is saying what. We are saying that it is not right and that's all!
Manmohan Singh: Can I say something?
Sonia Gandhi: Can you please ask the Opposition to remain silent for the next 16 days?
Manmohan Singh: Sixteen days! OMG, I don't think. Still I will try to tell them.
L K Advani: Shame, shame Dr Singh.
Manmohan Singh: What shame Mr Advani. We at least hear what our leader say, not like your party where everybody is the boss.
Rajnath Singh: Who said this Mr Pm? I am the boss of our party.
Digvijay Singh: And who's your boss Rajnathji? The man from Gujarat?
Mulayam Singh Yadav: Please stop all this gentlemen. Both the Congress and the BJP have lost their credibility. Now, we should get a chance to rule in New Delhi.
Rajnath Singh: You think you have great credibility Mr Yadav? And by the way, if you come to power, the administration of this country will be destroyed completely. If you can treat an IAS officer in your state the way you did, just imagine what will happen across the country if your party come to power. Poor Durga.
Sachin Tendulkar: Who's Durga gentlemen?
Sushma Swaraj: Mr Tendulkar, you don't even know who is Durga and you have become an MP?
Sachin: I know only cricket.
Sushma: This is not a cricket field. This is politics and we need to understand it before we come here.
Hamid Ansari: Why are you here Mr Tendulkar? You must attend the Rajya Sabha session. It will resume after some time.
Sachin: But you called the session off! I thought it was bad light, so I came here since the prime minister is also here.
Rajnath: I wonder whom the grand-old party of India allows to become its MPs. The other day, we saw an actor-turned-politician telling that meals are available for Rs 12 in Mumbai. Does he have stale food? And now the cricketer-politician who is unaware about the Durga incident.
Sonia: Please give it a break Rajnathji. You also have great assets in Sahtrughan Sinha and Navjot Singh Sidhu who don't know what they say and put their own party in embarrassment.
Rajnath: Those people don't matter for us. We can take action against them anytime.
Sonia: So why don't you take instead of claiming? We never make hollow promises. We had promised Telangana and we have gifted it. We have also taken up the Durga Shakti issue.
Sachin: Who's this Durga?
Mulayam: One minute Sachinji. Dear Soniaji, you have taken up Durga issue? Then why didn't you take up the Ashok Khemka issue?
Rajnath: And what great favour have you done to Telangana? You have seen how separatist fire has been fuelled across the country because of this gamble.
Sonia: We have ensured that Narendra Modi benefits a little from Andhra.
Sachin: But, Soniaji, VVS Laxman is a bit upset. He doesn't know the name of the team he is playing for.
Manmohan: Ssshh... Sachin paaji. Don't ask questions to Madamji. You may lose your job.
Rajnath: See, what culture this party promotes. People can't even speak out their mind.
Advani: We will change the course once I... (Rajnath gives a him a glare) ... I mean Modi comes to power in New Delhi.
Rahul: Mummy, mummy! You saw how Rajnathji looked at Advaniji?
Sonia: Leave them son, it's their eternal problem. We at least know what we want.
Manmohan: Yes, you want me... (Sonia gives him a glare)... I mean Rahul baba as the next prime minister of India.
Mulayam: Ha, ha. See, what I said.
Digvijay: Don't deviate from the point Mulayamji. The thing is...
Meira: Please baith jaiye, the light has come. Mr Tendulkar, you can follow Mr Ansari for your house session. We will continue with our own work.
Sachin: Aila! What fun! I want to make a long career in politics, even longer than my cricketing career.