London, Sept 8 : Jade Goody has revealed that she once smoked crack in front of her addicted mum - in a bid to cast the habit out of her life.
The former Big Brother star has always condemned crack and heroin abuse as they led her dad into a life of crime before he died of a suspected overdose at 42. However, in her new autobiography 'Jade: Catch A Falling Star', mum-of-two Goody talks about the moment she followed in her parents' foolish footsteps.
"One day I sat in my room and thought, 'I'm never going to beat the drugs. They're always going to win'," the Sun quoted her, as saying.
"And I can't believe I'm admitting this, but a voice in my head said, 'I might as well do a bit of crack myself. I might as well go the same way as her. At least then we'd be together'," she added.
Goody went to the living room of the home she shared with her mother Jackiey in Bermondsey, South-East London.
"I wiped the tears from my face and walked out of my bedroom to the lounge, where she was smoking crack. I kept telling myself, 'Be brave, Jade'."
Jackiey refused to hand her daughter the Class A drug, but Goody persisted. "I decided to show her how nasty and heartbreaking it was to see a member of your family - your own flesh and blood - killing themselves in front of your very eyes," she said.
"I took some of her crack, put it in a Rizla paper to make a joint, and I smoked it. I felt dirty and disgusting. 'How does it make you feel watching me do this?' I asked," she added. By doing so, Goody had hoped her mum would stop her inhaling or promise to quit drugs herself.
However, addicted Jackiey didn't give up the habit.
"I'd foolishly thought that if she could see what it looked like - and if she thought that her own daughter was about to go to the same dark place she was - she would put a stop to it," she said. In the end, Goody was saved by her own body's response.
"I couldn't even smoke it all, it made me feel too ill. I ran to the toilet, stuck my fingers down my throat and made myself sick, and sick, and sick," she said.