Book blaming wives for cheating husbands creates uproar

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London, Sept 8 : A new book by American psychotherapist Gary Neuman has created an uproar in Britain and America, as it blames wives for their cheating husbands.

Statistics have suggested that nearly half of all American husbands have had affairs, to which 68 per cent never admit, or only do so when confronted with the evidence.

Neuman's book advocates the role of a conventional and subservient wife, urging them to forgive their wayward husbands, never refuse sex, embrace his hobbies, and show excitement at his achievements in the workplace.

Another book 'Save The Males: Why Men Matter, Why Women Should Care' by a US writer Kathleen Parker had caused a hullabaloo, where she said that feminism has "neutered" men and robbed them of their "noble, protective role in society".

Even the typical Fifties image of a housewife doting on her husband fails to guarantee a happy married life.

Denise Knowles of relationship counsellors Relate believes it is vital not to judge or condemn women who are able and who choose to stay at home and care for their children full-time.

She said that husbands in such marriages are just as likely to stray.

There needs to be equality for a relationship to work," the Daily Express quoted Knowles as saying.

"One partner must not feel subordinate to the other. If a couple have decided together that one or other should stay at home, fine, but if a woman opts to pander to her man in order to keep him and prevent him from leaving, through fear, in other words, it is not a healthy marriage," she added.

She is very concerned by the fantasy "Stepford Wife" stance Neuman praises.

"We live in a world in which everyone has rights and needs. There has to be mutual respect to make a marriage. What Neuman is telling us may be a reason for break-ups, it's not the solution," said Knowles.

"It's missing the point, too," scoffs geneticist and mother Rebecca Oakey, married to a virology professor. "The implication is that women who work do not want to do these things for their men but we do!

"I'm in a relationship with a man who cares passionately about his work and who needs to be married to a woman who can talk about it on his level. If I couldn't do that life would be awful for him.

"We enjoy all the discussion and our mutual interest in science, academia, university life, but it could be anything. A successful marriage depends on being 'on the same page' as your partner. If you have that as your bond, everything else falls into place," she added.

ANI

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