Washington, April 3 : Pop legend Madonna has revealed that the haunting memory of her mother's death is responsible for her permanently uptight persona.
The 49-year-old singer's friends and husband Guy Ritchie try their level best keep her calm but Madge insists that she'll never be able to change - because of the unforgettable past when her mother, also called Madonna, died of breast cancer.
Madge's mother died of the disease at the age of 30 in 1963, when her daughter was just five years old.
And the pop star thinks that the pain she suffered at such a tender age is responsible for her controlling, disciplinarian nature.
"I've always been this way. I can't help it. Guy tells me to loosen up, my friends do, too, but I can't. It's entirely a product of my childhood," Contactmusic quoted Madonna, as saying.
"I have dealt with a lot of my demons, but the biggest one is still to do with my mother dying when I was young. That is still with me in many ways.
"As a child I had no control. I felt the world around me was chaotic and I needed some control. That's when the self-discipline started. It was my way of survival," she added.