Admitting that her pen fails to speak her mind any longer and her habit of reading has also taken a beating, Taslima laments ''The question now confronting me is when shall I go home. Reading and writing hardly matter. The question is when will I be able to go back to Kolkata. My confinement has definitely taken a toll on my creativity.'' The author of controversial books like 'Lajja' and 'Dwikhandito'', which drew praises as well as brickbats for the strong feminist message they contained, says her plight has stifled her creativity and she feels like a caged bird which could sing only when free. ''The silence is stifling. What I write further will depend on my fate in the country.'' She even feels no regret about not being able to receive the Simon de Beauvoir Feminist Award conferred upon her by the French Government during the visit of President Nicolas Sarkozy to India this year.
Talking to the sources from an undisclosed location, Taslima, who was admitted to AIIMS due to medicine side-effects and released on Wednesday, says she feels better, though her blood pressure keeps fluctuating. She is satisfied with the kind of medical treatment she was offered but definitely misses her 'cardiologist friends' back home (in Kolkata) who could have been by her side during the tough moments.
Taslima's books had sparked controversy and she came under attack From Islamic fundamentalists. On August 9, she was assaulted at the Hyderabad Press Club by MLAs and supporters of the All India Majlis-e-Ittehadul Muslimeen party.
Islamic leaders demanded her expulsion from India following which she was forced to leave Kolkata and seek refuge in New Delhi.
Violence erupted in Kolkata in November last year as members of the All India Minority Forum protested against granting of visa to the Bangladeshi feminist writer. She was subsequently shifted to Jaipur and New Delhi and since then is being kept at an undisclosed location here.